We went to a Bangladeshi wedding recently. We weren't invited, but that didn't seem to matter as they invite up to 1000 people to their weddings. Everyone who you've ever met. We went with Marc's boss who didn't know the bride and knew the groom by face. It was on Wednesday, starting at about 8 pm. We arrived at 8:30 pm and were quite early. We went into the 'viewing room' where the bride was sitting. We looked at the bride for a while, said hello and she thanked us for coming, even though she had no idea who we were. We sat in chairs and looked at the bride a bit more. Then I was pressured into sitting with her for a photo. Here is me sitting in the groom's chair trying not to look uncomfortable:
After we had admired the bride for a while, we went to another room and sat with people waiting for their food. They have multiple sittings at food, and it is polite to eat and then leave to make way for the next sitting. We were hoping to see the groom arrive but by 9 pm he still hadn't so we went for dinner. There was lots of food - rice and mutton (goat, not sheep). I sat next to a man who was a fanatic orchid grower, and the bride's father stood behind Marc watching him eat and making him feel uncomfortable. It is apparently quite an honour to have white people at a Bangladeshi wedding which is probably why they didn't mind us gate-crashing. After dinner we went back to look at the bride for a while and the groom had turned up (it is his right to make the bride wait - opposite from the west!).
The bride looks a bit happier now! It must be very nerve-wracking to have people sit and stare at you! It was interesting though not very fun. Obviously there was no alcohol, but there wasn't any soft drinks or nibbles while waiting for dinner, and no one actually looked like they were having fun. Marc's boss says that weddings are very serious, the bride's family pays for it all and when you are feeding 1000 guests (plus gate-crashers!) it is a life-time's saving's. Add that to the dowry payment and it's no wonder that people would rather have boys than girls. I saw an article in the paper recently about a movement to stop dowry payments for weddings.
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